Football NFL Offseason

Where’s Waldo Rex Ryan? Pool Party Edition

Recently, I just graduated from high school and with graduation, comes the grad parties. Furthermore, this got me thinking about some of the epic summer parties going on with summer break commencing for kids everywhere. Furthermore, what better summer party than pool parties? At this point, many readers are probably wondering what in the universe this train of thought has to do with, well, sports. After all, this is a sports website. However, with summer pool parties highlighting the best of June and July festivities and visions of poolside tanning dancing in my head (wait wrong season), it got me thinking: where would us fans find varying NFL personalities at a traditional summer pool party? Without further ado, let’s dive right into it and see how various players would be making a splash this summer…

Jalen Ramsey: Talking to anyone and everyone around the party

Over the course of a typical NFL season, Jalen Ramsey’s voice seems to be heard league wide. Whether it’s running his mouth about Josh Allen being a “trash quarterback” or giving his opinion about any and every player league wide when nobody asked, Ramsey just loves to talk. There’s no doubt in my mind that Ramsey would be the social guy at the party who talks about himself to anyone who will listen. Maybe someone should turn the music up…

Antonio Brown: Taking Madden challengers in the gaming room

With his captivating and comical appearance in Madden commercials as well as being on the cover of the most recent Madden (Madden 19), Antonio Brown is no stranger to the sticks. There’s always that group at the party who groups together and unleashes their inner gamer on some comfy couches, enjoying flexing their virtual muscles. In fact, I would imagine that Antonio Brown would be that guy, taking Madden challengers as they come, picking off people at the party one by one. I mean, you can’t tell me that this guy wouldn’t be the Madden champion of the party.

Rob Gronkowski: DJ’ing poolside

If there’s a giant, extravagant, miraculous pool party, you best believe Rob Gronkowski would have to be at the center of it. In fact, Gronkowski has grown a reputation of when not playing football, he’s the biggest party animal around. Whether it’s the featured image for this article, Gronk denting the Lombardi trophy by using it as a baseball bat, giving a WWE smackdown, or quotes like this, Gronkowski has always been the life of the party. If there’s a pool party, what better place for Gronk then the poolside DJ, fueling the center of the party.

David Irving: Hot boxing a room upstairs

Former Cowboys Defensive Tackle David Irving recently retired from the NFL during an Instagram live video because of the NFL’s stance on player use of Marijuana. Additionally, he was smoking a blunt while doing this. After multiple suspensions and countless criticism, David Irving has stuck to his guns as a CBD enthusiast, even starting his own company. In short, he hasn’t shown remorse at all and has unapologetically chased his THC dreams. No matter your stance on Marijuana, it’s evident David Irving is stuck in his. Irving would be the scene in the movie where someone opens the wrong door and finds kids hotboxing an upstairs bedroom. He better not be doing it in the parents’ room…

Conclusion

With the NFL season a ways away yet plenty of yearning for NFL content, when this is paired with summer right around the corner, it creates a need for creativity in football content to match the times. With prediction articles, “way too early power rankings”, and late draft reflections, it seems the same headlines are currently dominating NFL news headlines. With that taken into account, an article to match the times that goes against the grain is just what this odd, yet hopefully intriguing article is all about. This NFL pool party would be one to remember, with more than enough personality to go around. Hope the readers have enjoyed the piece, and may you see plenty of fun under the summer sun!

Advertisements

One comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s