Week One Quarterback Power Rankings: 3 Word Description

Rankings Based Solely on Week 1*

1. Aaron Rodgers– BAAAAAD MAN BACK!

2. Russell Wilson– Uber Efficiency Plus

3. Lamar Jackson– Ridiculous 152.1 Rating

4. Josh Allen– Air and Ground

5. Gardner MinshewNo Mistake Mania 

6. Kyler Murray– Very Effective Runner

7. Patrick Mahomes– Token Three Touchdowns

8. Matt Ryan– 450 But Outplayed

9. Ben Roethlisberger– Welcome Back Ben

10. Mitchell Trubisky– More Of This

11. Kirk Cousins– Solid But Short

12. Jimmy Garoppolo– Simply Not Enough

13. Ryan Tannehill– Did The Job

14. Cam Newton– Running Back Vibes

15. Derrick Carr– Game Manager Mentality

16. Deshaun Watson– Where’d Everybody Go?

17. Drew Lock– Good, Considering Circumstances

18. Drew Brees– Didn’t Do Much

19. Teddy Bridgewater– Little Too Conservative

20. Dak Prescott– Not Enough Points

21. Phillip Rivers– Too Many Mistakes

22. Daniel Jones– Dimes Plays Decent

23. Dwayne Haskins– The Bare Minimum

24. Carson Wentz– Just Be Better

25. Tom Brady– Go Home, Grandpa!

26. Matthew Stafford– Same Ol’ Story

27. Jared Goff– Literally Nothing Special

28. Tyrod Taylor– Way Too Pedestrian

29. Sam Darnold– Absolutely No Progression

30. Joe Burrow– Just Growing Pains

31. Baker Mayfield– We Thought Wrong

32. Ryan Fitzpatrick– No Fitzmagic Today

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